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• I don't get the phrase "may or may not," as in "I may or may not get drunk tonight." Doesn't the word "may" already imply the possibility of something not happening? Do we really need the "or may not?" Think about it.
• I love how when Sharon talks on the phone, she still nods when she agrees with the person on the other line. It cracks me up every time.
• I enter an exam room to meet a new patient, and I see three kids. The first kid (my patient) is a 4 year-old red head who clearly never got through the paste-eating stage. He is wearing sweatpants and a red striped shirt, and is currently sticking his head in the garbage can. Sitting next to him is his older sister (about 8 years old). She is wearing pink sweatpants, which are freshly stained with urine. She is reading a book out loud to herself, and is struggling through "See Spot Run." Next to her is her brother, about six years old. He is morbidly obese. He is at least 100 lbs. He is wearing sweatpants as well, and a T-shirt with the words "Git-R-Done" on it. I take this sight in all at once, and as I shut the door behind me, I get my first glimpse at the mom. I don't know exactly how to put this. She just looks like someone who should not be allowed to reproduce. It may be the fact that she's sitting in a lawn chair she brought from home with a twenty-four pack of Pepsi. You can't make this stuff up.
• Why does everyone assume Humpty Dumpty is egg-shaped? There's nothing in the nursery rhyme that indicates he's shaped like an egg. He could just be a regular guy who falls off a wall and loses a leg.
• Sharon reads a Harry Potter blog called "The Leaky Cauldron." This sounds like a sex term to me. In fact, we need to define the Leaky Cauldron and spread the term around. If it becomes popular enough, maybe the blog will shut down out of embarassment. Any suggestions?
• I don't know anyone named Curtis.
• Sharon and I were filling out a survey of our belongings for our insurance company, and in it we had to give an estimate of the value of our movie collection. We counted 97 DVDs and Blu-Rays, and given their average of $15 per disk, I discovered we have almost $1,500 worth of movies. I never realized our movie collection cost me an entire month's pay. That seems outrageous when I think about it.
• Conversation with my preceptor:
  Dr. M "I had a patient yesterday who was only nineteen years old and even taller than you, no pun intended."
  Me "...none taken?"
• I occasionally get heartburn, so I keep Maximum Strength Tums in my cabinet. The directions say to take two tablets. If I need to take two, how can they be maximum strength?
• We were watching Changeling tonight when a character used the phrase "It's raining cats, dogs, and Democrats out there." I don't know what it means, but I'm going to try to use it as often as possible.