Math Hotdogs Run

• Dr. P "Brandon, why don't you present your patient quickly, we only have a few minutes left."
  Me "Okay, this patient is a-"
  Dr. P "We'll try not to interrupt you."
  Me "...this patient is a five-year-old male-"
  Dr. P "Unless we have questions."
  Me "...who presented with a three-day history of-"
  Dr. P "Got that? No one interrupt him."
• Drug names that would make good villains in a sci-fi movie: Lopressor, Tordol, Zofran
• I hit my forehead on the open window in our shower hard enough to draw blood, but not hard enough to realize I had drawn blood. I had about a 1-inch gash trickling blood down my forehead without realizing it. The weird thing was, no one told me about it until I was at the mall three hours later. I had even gone to the supermarket to buy a bottle of bourbon for my bar. I had an open wound and dried blood on my forehead, and all I'm buying is a bottle of liquor. No wonder the cashier was avoiding eye contact...
• Nick "How's that coffee cake?"
  Me "Great, it's like a muffin in loaf form."
  Nick "They should call it 'muffinloaf.'"
  Me "...good one."
• I don't think I've ever chosen to "Move Single Card" in FreeCell.
• Line in a medical textbook: "Usually, ependymomas tend to recur in some cases after surgical resection." That sentence has so many modifiers, it has become meaningless.
• Four. Fourteen. One-fourth. Forty. WTF?
• I don't know what species of fish is in a fishstick. Flounder? Goldfish? Seahorse? I hope it's seahorse.
• Today, a cashier told me to "Have a good night" as I was buying lunch at 11:30 am. That's at least five hours before acceptable.
• Snow? Snow? SNOW?! It's April 21st! That's it, Al Gore. Game over. I officially call bullshit.