Indiana Jones hits wide-release today, so I thought it would be appropriate to post about it. Here's a list of reasons I will NOT see this movie.
1. George Lucas
Frank Darabont (The Shawshank Redemption, The Mist) wrote a screenplay for the movie two years ago. Steven Spielberg loved the script, but George Lucas didn't. What does George Lucas know about scripts? Hey, remember that George Lucas script that everyone loved? Oh, right, that was thirty years ago. Well, he had a good run.
2. I liked the originals
I made the mistake of having The Matrix and Pirates of the Caribbean ruined for me, I'm not going to do the same with Indiana Jones.
3. Harrison Ford
This reason deserves it's own subcategory...
(a) He hasn't made a movie in two years, and hasn't made a good movie in fifteen years. Everyone talks about him like he's FSM's gift to acting. He's only ever been nominated for one Oscar. One. Over twenty years ago. Pass.
(b) He refuses to make movies unless he's the star. Think about it. When was the last time he was in a supporting role? Direct quote: "I'm like a fireman. When I go out on a call, I want to put out a big fire, I don't want to put out a fire in a dumpster." Yes, allow me to crap on the faces of all the lesser-known actors out there. Douchebag.
(c) Politics. Now I know what you're thinking. He's perfectly qualified to talk about politics. I mean, he did go to college for two years before dropping out (apparently the course load at Ripon College was too rigorous for him). Forget the people who study politics for a living. They're not as qualified to talk about the Iraq War as this douchebag. I'm sure I object to the war just as much as he does. I just don't pretend to be an expert on it. If you've got an opinion on something, just get a blog like everyone else.
(d) Seriously, fuck this guy.
4. There are no new ideas in Hollywood
This movie is 100% about making profit. How do I know? They're already planning a sequel! Yeah, I'm sure they put effort into the storyline (see 1. above). All they're doing now is taking things that were popular twenty years ago and redoing them. Transformers, Batman, the upcoming G.I. Joe movie. Forget it. If Indiana Jones had a storyline that needed a sequel, it would have come out twenty years ago.
5. The title
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? WTF?
EDIT: After I posted this, I saw this post on Pharyngula. Once again, P.Z. Meyers and I are in agreement (except for the fact that he wasted his $9).
22 May 2008
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3 comments:
I too am pissed off at Lucas for his planet sized ego. He destroyed Star Wars for me, and I didn't even like the first ones.
With that being said, I thoroughly enjoyed IJ4, though I admit that this was heavily due to the fact that I wanted to. It could've been better, and I was aware of the rejected Darabont script, so I was also aware of just how much better it could have been.
But I think it's safe to say that if Temple of Doom didn't ruin the series, this one won't either.
Did you see The Mist? We just got it off Netflix. Thoroughly enjoyable, but just a bit over the top against religion (and it takes a lot for me to say that).
I didn't see it, but had some friends who saw it. Didn't sound altogether satisfying, but anything against religion is worth a rethink.
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